Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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