Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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