Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
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My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
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Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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