Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
