guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize