I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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