My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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