my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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