I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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