and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
