just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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