everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
