Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
