Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
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if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
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Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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