The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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