Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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