you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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