I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
