if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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