My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
