Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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