I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.