Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx