i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
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How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
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All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.