Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
