Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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