Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
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I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
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You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.