ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well