Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college