dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!