pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
either way he was missing a nipple.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
