hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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