ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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