I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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