I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
