btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize