you guys were way drunker than both of me
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
