Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
