Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
