I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize