these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Randomize
