she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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