Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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