I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
