Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
