Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
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Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
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I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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