Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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