Barsexuality is the new black.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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