...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My nipple is on Facebook.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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