I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize