and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
