How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
