Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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