Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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