my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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