those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
