No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
