I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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