i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
