So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
