I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize