We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
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