i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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