Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
it's great music for shaving your balls
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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