he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
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so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
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Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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