she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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