Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Randomize